pain and suffering

​Pain and Suffering
It is really odd that when you Google the word ‘pain’, the physical pain is what initially appears.  According to Wikipedia, it is an unpleasant feeling often caused by intense or damaging stimuli.  That is so true.  Although that definition refers to physical pain [because it is followed by examples of stubbing a toe, getting cut with a knife, etc.], it is true of mental pain as well. 
Wikipedia also suggests that, in order to get the meaning of pain other than physical pain, one should search under suffering.  Suffering, it says, is an experience of unpleasantness and aversion associated with the perception of harm or threat of harm in an individual.
It goes on to explain that suffering can be physical or mental, vary in frequency, intensity and duration.  It is also subject to the opinion of the person that is suffering, as well as other people.  It is a process that may be considered avoidable or unavoidable, useful or useless, and deserved or undeserved.  It actually seems to suggest that physical pain is validated (note that examples were given that would ‘understandably’ cause pain); but, mental pain (and/or suffering) is not.
A person that is suffering may go through moments of regret and reflection:

• Where did I go wrong?
• Why did I not see this coming?
• Why me?
• Am I a bad person?
• What did I do to deserve this?
• What can I do now?

These questions usually do not have easy answers.  Many times, you never really receive an answer.  Sometimes those questions can only be answered by God and the people that hurt you. 
The word ‘pain’ makes one think of sudden intensity that will soon dissipate.  Suffering seems more like a process that will continue for an indeterminate amount of time.  In fact, suffering was described as an experience rather than a feeling.
The pain that I felt during labor was intense, to say the least.  I felt like my body was being ripped apart by the contractions.  It seemed like an eternity before I was able to get an epidural.  I remember that it hurt really badly; but, I cannot remember how the pain felt.  People would tell me that you will forget all about the pain after you see your baby.  I could not believe them before it actually happened.  If anyone asked me to describe what the pain of contractions felt like on the day AFTER I had the baby, I could not tell them.  I cannot tell you now….and I have had four kids!!  I cannot even describe the pain of an incision after a Caesarean section….and I have had two!!  I remember that it hurt, but I don’t remember the pain.
 
The thing about mental suffering, is that you remember BOTH.  You remember the pain, and the suffering.  It can be decades later, but you will remember how you felt in that moment.  Sometimes, you can actually feel the pain all over again:

• The sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach
• The aching in your heart
• The feeling that you cannot breathe
• The tears that never seem to end.
• The inability to focus on anything else but the trigger that evoked the response of suffering

These feelings are very real to a person experiencing mental suffering.  The person on the outside may feel that the person ‘should have gotten over that by now’, but to the person feeling the pain, it seems impossible to forget.  Sometimes, the person feels that they will NEVER get over what has happened. 
So, what is the answer?  As a Pastor’s wife, I am supposed to tell you:

• Let the Joy of the Lord be your strength(Neh 8:10)
• Weeping may endure for the night, but joy cometh in the morning (Psamls 30:5)
• You are the head and not the tail, above and not beneath (Deut 28:13)
• Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God.  And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.(Phil 4:6-7)

These things sound good, and are Bible-based, but they will not give you instant joy.  Unfortunately, pain and suffering is a process that you must go through for an indeterminate amount of time.  Just try this until the storm is over:
Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.  Those things, which ye have both learned, and received, and heard, and seen in me, do: and the God of peace shall be with you. (Phil 4: 8-9)

God loves you!!!  He will give you Perfect Peace!!
Lady J